


love is madness

by aqdanfin



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, Lesbian AU, Third Person Limited POV, cis girl au, tw mentions of anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 07:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19848202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqdanfin/pseuds/aqdanfin
Summary: katya has an uncontrollable crush on the new girl, adore delano. what happens when mrs. del rio partner's them up for a project?





	love is madness

**Author's Note:**

> this is a highschool + cisgirl au featuring katya and adore. i'm very proud of it! i have it published to artificialqueens (on tumblr), wattpad, and i'm reposting it on my new ao3 acc, too, so don't fret if you've seen it there. i put it there! enjoy :)

“So, Katya, when did your anxiety worsen?” 

Katya shifted uncomfortably in the maroon, leather seat. She looked down at her lap. She didn't feel like having this conversation. Not today, at least. Mrs. Willow, her therapist, always wanted her to elaborate on this uncomfortable topic.

She looked up at Mrs. Willow. “Um... I... Uh...”

Mrs. Willow looked down at her notebook. She then looked back up at Katya. “Take your time.” She smiled at her.

Katya gulped and looked down. She knew what worsened her anxiety: moving and coming out. She had moved to Azusa, California about a month ago with her mother and brother.

During her first week in Azusa, she met a literal goddess named Adore Delano. Everything was perfect about her; from her body to her infectious joy. Since Katya was really struggling with her sexuality when she met Adore, realizing how attractive the younger girl was frustrated her an ungodly amount. 

“Katya, is there a reason you can't tell me what worsens your anxiety?”

Katya flinched at the sudden sound of Mrs. Willow's voice. She didn't know she'd been thinking about it for so long. - Or if this therapist was just very impatient. - Either way, she knew she would have to spill her guts or else.

“M-May I write it down?” Katya asked hopefully. Writing it down would be so much easier than saying it out loud.

“Of course,” Mrs. Willow replied. She handed Katya a pen and a blank sheet of lined paper. Katya took the cap off of the pen and began to write;

What triggers my anxiety really bad:  
\- moving away from all my old friends  
\- my sexuality  
\- coming out  
\- maybe other things? these are all I can remember right now

Katya put the cap back in the pen and slid the paper back to Mrs. Willow. Mrs. Willow read over the list carefully. Being the open-minded woman she was, she wasn't the least bit bothered by the fact that Katya was confused about her sexuality. Since her own daughter had these struggles, she knew she'd be able to help Katya.

“So, when did you move to Azusa?” Mrs. Willow asked.

“One month ago,” Katya replied.

“And about your sexuality; how do you feel about it? You do not have to answer if you do not want to,” Mrs. Willow assured her.

Katya looked up and made eye contact with the therapist. She finally realized how beautiful and nice her therapist actually looked. It helped her feel more comfortable with talking to her. “I, I think I'm bisexual. At the same time, I think I'm lesbian. I don't know if my parents will accept it or not since we're, well they're, Catholic. I personally do not believe in God.”

Mrs. Willow nodded. “Do you feel like a boy trapped in a girl's body? Are you comfortable with the sex you were assigned at birth?”

“Yeah,” Katya replied with little thought. “I am a woman. I know that. I'm just... struggling with my attraction towards other women.”

Mrs. Willow wrote a note down on her notebook. She was proud of Katya; the teen had finally started talking to her after four weeks of unsuccessful sessions. She hoped this would help map out Katya's road to recovery. “Is there anything else you want to talk about?” she asked.

Katya shook her head. “No.” She had talked enough for today. Mrs. Willow understood. She bid her goodbye and gave her permission to leave. Katya happily exited the therapist's office and walked out to the waiting room where her parents were.

Katya's mother perked up at the sound of her daughter's footsteps. They were the only ones in the office; who else could it be? She smiled when she saw her daughter.

“How'd it go?” she asked.

“It went...okay. I just wanna go home now.” Katya replied. 

Her mother nodded and stood. She walked to the receptionist's desk to get the date for Katya's next appointment. It was one week from then. Her mother thanked the receptionist and they exited Lifeskills.

-

Katya mentally cursed her science teacher. Yesterday, she found out that the class's task for the end of the last nine weeks of the whole school year was to create something to tell new students what they could learn. They had to work in pairs. Katya swore the teacher knew about her obsession with Adore since, coincidentally, she was partners with her out of the thirty kids in that class. 

So, Katya was fuming. She didn't want to be around the gorgeous party animal right now. Not while she was having a sexuality crisis. 

There seemed to be two voices in Katya's head. One that said: _Okay, Katya, face it; you like girls. No, you LOVE girls. You'd happily sleep with a girl instead of a boy. Accept it._ While the other said: _You. Are. Straight. You. Like. Boys. You're confused. Liking girls is just a phase. Besides, Adore has an androgynous style; of course you fell in love with her. She has the best of both worlds._ It was all so confusing and frustrating.

Katya sighed as she dragged herself to science. She hoped Adore would be absent so she could work alone today. Better yet, hopefully Adore would to go to Allen Academy for the last nine weeks so she could work on the project alone the whole time.

Unfortunately, neither of those were happening. As soon as Katya walked into the classroom, she saw Adore. Adore was having a conversation with Courtney and Trixie.

“And, she's here!” Trixie exclaimed as Katya sat down beside her. Katya kept her eyes down. She felt intimidated.

“Hey, Katya, what's wrong?” Courtney asked. “You're usually a real chatterbox before class begins. Well, you are when I'm around.”

“Yeah, she is.” Trixie added.

Katya glanced up at Adore. Adore was looking at her. She felt her cheeks heat up. She was certain she was blushing.

Trixie noticed her best friend's blushing and, dare she say, timid behavior. “Looks like someone has a crush!” she blurted out. “And that someone is close by.”

Katya felt anger surge through her veins. “No, I fucking don't!” she protested. “I am straight! I like guys! Not girls!” She never really mentioned to Trixie that she was bi-curious or lesbian; why would she make such assumptions?

“Oh, Jesus, sorry...” Trixie felt guilty. She knew she probably struck a nerve. She knew Katya's sexuality had been a sensitive topic for awhile now, even without it being addressed.

Katya sighed. “It's okay.”

Before the conversation could continue, the teacher, Mrs. Del Rio, silenced the class. She told the class good morning, even if her morning hadn't been so grand. She then explained the project before telling them to split up into their pairs.

Katya moved to the seat beside Adore. She knew she would have to talk now. She couldn't be silent forever. Participation and teamwork were 30% of the final score.

“So, you're Katya?” Adore asked, resting her head on her hand. She was intrigued by the smaller girl. 

“Yeah,” Katya replied. “And you're Adore?” She hoped Adore wouldn't recognise her as the blonde that was staring at her the first week they met.

“You look familiar. You're the girl that moved into my neighborhood a month ago, right?” Adore questioned.

“Correct.” Katya felt that her cover would be blown within the next few seconds.

“That's great! That means we can work on this project at either my place or your place, too.” Katya felt herself let out a breath that she didn't realise she was holding in. Adore didn't really recognise her yet.

“We did meet the first week I moved in, remember?” Katya asked.

“Of course. Now we need to work on the project. We do not want Mrs. Del Rio to catch us off task.” Adore lowered her voice so only Katya could hear. “She's like the fucking Devil. She'll make your life a living Hell.”

Katya nodded, even though she could hardly believe Adore. She always saw Mrs. Del Rio as motherly, not evil.

-

By the time Katya had another meeting with Mrs. Willow, she had figured a few things out. She had become comfortable with the term "bisexual." She knew she loved girls. She knew she loved Adore. As time passed, she had gotten comfortable around her. She could actually talk to her now.

“So what should we talk about today?” Mrs. Willow asked as Katya sat down in the leather chair.

“Well, I got to talk to the girl that made me question my sexuality today,” Katya replied. She felt proud of herself. She actually carried out a good conversation with Adore.

“That's great!” Mrs. Willow cheered. “Have you come to any conclusions yet or is it still too soon?”

Katya thought about it; as she said, she loved girls. There was no denying that. However, she couldn't say she was lesbian. She still had slight attraction to a guys every now and then. Bisexual sounded like a good term to her.

“I think bisexual is an appropriate term for now. I'm still testing it out. I'm scared to come out to my parents. I don't know how they'll react,” she explained.

Mrs. Willow placed her hand over Katya's. She knew her daughter had similar struggles. “Just know that they will love you, no matter what. You'll always be their daughter.” Every word she said was true; no matter what Katya identified as, she'd always be a Zamolodchikova.

-

“We'll meet at your place, okay?” Adore asked.

“Okay. Is 4 PM okay?” 

Adore nodded. Then, she and Katya had to depart. They had only one week left for the project. Luckily, they were almost finished. They just had to list their sources and score it themselves.

Science was Katya's last class of the day. So, she walked out to her locker with her head held high. She quickly put in her combination and out away her things. She made sure her phone was in her pocket before closing her locker. She was not leaving her phone at school, overnight, again.

She walked towards the school's exit quickly so she wouldn't be stopped by anyone. She had to get home and tidy up her room before Adore came over. She didn't want to embarrass herself by having a messy room while a guest was over. Especially when the guest is someone she is in love with.

Katya decided to walk home instead of riding the bus. Riding the bus took about twenty minutes longer. It was a loud, chaotic place, too.

She made it home in about twenty-one minutes. She had to tell her mother and brother that Adore was coming over tonight. Her mother was aware that Adore would have to come over one night so they could complete the project. She didn't know when, though.

“I'm home!” Katya called out as she opened the front door. She took her shoes off and put them beside the door. She walked to the lounge room and saw her mother sitting on the couch. 

“Adore is coming over tonight to help finish the project,” Katya said. “That is okay, right?” She hoped her mom would say yes. It was a bit too late to back out now.

“Of course. I told you she could come over on weekdays as long as you two were working in something for school,” her mom replied. Katya smiled in relief. 

“I gotta go clean my room. If someone knocks on the door, can I answer it?” 

Her mother nodded in reply. Katya smiled and ran towards her room. Luckily, there wasn't a sign of her brother. She had a feeling he would find Adore attractive and try to flirt with her, which would leave Katya jealous and angry.

Katya opened her bedroom door. It wasn't as messy as she thought it was. There were just dirty clothes laying around the floor and her bed needed to be made up. So, she gathered the clothes and took them to the bathroom. She put them in a basket along with the other dirty clothes. She then went back to her room and made her bed up. By the time she was done, it was 3:30 PM. She had thirty minutes to waste.

-

Katya heard her mother calling for her. She got off of her bed and walked to the lounge room. When she heard the knock at the door, she walked to it. She opened it and saw Adore standing there. 

“Hello,” she greeted. “Come in.” Adore gladly accepted the invitation and stepped into the house. Katya closed the door behind her.

“Mom, this is Adore. Adore, this is my mom,” Katya said, motioning towards each woman as she said their name. Mrs. Zamolodchikova smiled at Adore.

“Hi,” Adore said. “As you probably know, I am Katya's science partner. I'm just here to help her with our project.”

“Okay. You two behave. Don't cause too much trouble,” Mrs. Zamolodchikova said.

“We will. We won't be a bother at all,” Katya replied. Her mother knew she was telling the truth. Katya hadn't lied to her in awhile.

With that, Katya and Adore went to Katya's room. Their project was a slideshow of everything they had learned through the year. 

“Make yourself comfortable,” Katya told Adore. “I still have to turn the laptop on and login.” Adore sat on Katya's bed while Katya sat down at the small desk in the corner of her room. She turned on the laptop. She had to logout of her personal account and into her school account.

“You've got a nice place,” Adore said. “And your mom is really nice, too. You told me you had a brother; where is he?”

“Probably being a jackass with his friends,” Katya replied. She wondered why Adore wanted to know where he was. _Perhaps she just wanted to meet him? Maybe she was attracted to him instead of me? Maybe she's straight... ___

__“So, is your relationship with him okay?” Adore asked._ _

__“Yeah. I mean, he once peeled me off the ground like a sticker after I had vomited. That takes true love,” Katya explained. “Why do you ask?”_ _

__“I was just curious. I'm really close to my parents and siblings. I want to know if I'm the only one or not.”_ _

__Katya smiled in relief; Adore had no real interest in her brother after all. Adore was interested in Katya's life._ _

__Katya glanced back at the laptop. The webpage had loaded. So, she went Google Slides and clicked on the project titled: Mrs. Del Rio's Science Class._ _

__Adore moved to Katya's side. Katya felt a bit nervous since Adore was beside her; it was a feeling that she would never shake._ _

__“This looks good,” Adore says. “We just have to site our sources.”_ _

__“Which is easy. We just have to list the science books and Mrs. Del Rio's "brilliant" mind,” Katya added. She quickly typed the title of the science books and their authors. Then, she added: _"And of course, the brilliant Mrs. Del Rio."_ She and Adore decided to suck up so they had a chance at getting extra credit points._ _

__“As for scoring,” Adore began once Katya had finished typing, “I think we got an eighty-nine out of one hundred. What about you?”_ _

__Katya nodded, “I agree.” The two feel silent. It left Katya to think. She really wanted to say something to Adore now. She really wanted to kiss her, too. She caught herself staring at the younger girl's lips and blushed. She couldn't take her eyes off of them. She just imagined kissing them and sinking her teeth into Adore's bottom lip._ _

___Wait, does that make me weird? A creep?_ Katya thought to herself. She hoped it didn't. She also hoped Adore didn't notice her staring._ _

__However, Adore did notice Katya staring at her. It confused her a bit. “Hey, Katya, do you need something?” she asked. “You're just staring at me... What's up?”_ _

__Katya felt her cheeks heat up due to embarrassment. She had been caught. “Oh...sorry. I didn't mean to.” She knew that was a lie, but she didn't want to sound suspicious._ _

__“It's okay. If you ever want to talk about something, I'm here. I don't judge,” Adore assured Katya._ _

___Oh, you would if I told you this..._ Katya thought. She took her eyes off of Adore and they went back to the laptop. She sent their project to Mrs. Del Rio. She then logged out and shut down the device. She could sense Adore watching her. “Look who's staring now,” she said as she glanced at Adore._ _

__“Sorry, but I like you,” Adore said, which made Katya's heart flutter. “And I noticed your fast, almost scared, movements. What is wrong?”_ _

__How could Katya tell Adore that she was hopelessly in love with her? She loved everything about the younger girl. Adore had the voice of a siren and the body of a goddess. How could one not fall in love with her?_ _

__“Well, uh, Adore... I like you, too,” Katya began. “But in more than a friend way. More like... Romantic? I guess?” She didn't want to admit that she actually formed a sexual attraction towards Adore rather than a romantic one._ _

__Katya studied Adore's face. She didn't look disturbed or shocked. She didn't seem bothered at all._ _

__“So, how do you feel about that..?”_ _

__“I had a feeling you did,” Adore replied. “You've always been quiet and awkward around me. It's adorable, really. I have to admit, I've taken a liking towards you, too.”_ _

__Katya felt giddy; Adore liked- no, loved her back! Adore actually shared the same feelings!_ _

__The blonde was speechless. She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to mess up this euphoric moment._ _

__Adore smiled at Katya. Adore got closer to her. She looked into her eyes. Katya tried to look away, but couldn't. She was practically hypnotized by Adore's emerald green eyes. She soon felt Adore's warm breath against her lips. She knew what was about to happen; she knew Adore was going to kiss her. She didn't know how she would react._ _

__She soon found out. Adore gently pressed her lips against Katya's. Katya quickly kissed back. She felt all of her nervousness and embarrassment fade away. Now, she was elated. She was in a state of nirvana._ _

__Adore pulled away first. She was smiling. Katya was smiling, too. Both girls enjoyed the tender, loving moment a lot._ _

__“So, Adore, will you be my girlfriend?” Katya asked._ _

__“Yes, of course,” Adore replied. She and Katya shared another quick kiss. The two had a short conversation before Adore had to go home. Katya was sad to see her go, even though she knew she would see her at school tomorrow._ _

__Once Adore was gone, Katya felt silly about all the worry she had put herself through for the past few months. Adore had loved her all along. She had no reason to worry and wonder. She was once an anxiety filled mess, but now, she had the best girlfriend in the world. She would never, ever let Adore think otherwise._ _


End file.
